This was something many teachers tried to teach me, but I just didn’t “get it”. You can never just push something, you must also absorb it at the same time. It is 2-way communication through all parts of your body at all times. You must give AND receive. Some people only give and others only receive.
This rule of connection applies to all parts of your body:
- Your hands on your partner.
- Your body on your partner’s body and hands.
- Your feet against the ground.
What happens when you only have 1-way communication?
- If you’re only “giving”, it feels like you’re just shoving your partner around. Like your pushing your partner off of you, or always pushing yourself off your partner (or even off the ground).
- If you’re only “receiving”, it feels like you’re just a dead body that’s absorbing all the energy but not responding. It’s like someone massaging a dead body instead of massaging a body that feels back at the hand.
What happens when you have the perfect 2-way communication?
- Now, it feels like you’re pushing INTO your partner, and INTO the ground. Your are sending AND receiving energy. Melting and molding with your partner as well as the ground transferring energy back and forth in perfect harmony.
Taking AND giving energy feels incredible. There’s no more wrestling and energy bouncing out of the couple. The energy flows back and forth through both partners and recycled into other movements instead of thrown away in jarring fashion.
One teacher said to me, “Your hands are dead! You must bring them to life!”. I took that to mean that I had to move my hands more and use more energy with them. I started putting more tension into my hands, using them to hang onto my partners and push them around more.
Then came another teacher who said, “Your body is always shouting, it never listens.” But I never understood what that meant. He said I was simply bulldozing through partners with my energy. He explained your body is giving AND receiving a massage at the same time. If you’re only focused on giving, you can’t receive and you can’t hear what your partner needs. The only problem was that it didn’t make me a 2-way communicator in the dance, it just made soften up and give less energy.
Finally another teacher said, “You can’t push, and then absorb. You must absorb before you can push.” He explained that I was pushing before I even absorbed and connected with my partner. First, I must receive her and absorb her with my body and then I can push. And that with every step I take, I must absorb (receive energy) on every one to help me prepare for the push (sending energy).