I’ve been told I had a horrible embrace before. Well never to fear, I’ve assembled a bag of easy tips to remember. Probably not a bad idea to warm up with these for the first two tandas of every night to make sure you’re connecting before trying anything else (like fancy back-sacadas combos).
1. Sensual vs Sexual
HUG each other sensual, sexual style. Think like something between a family member and the hottest girl/guy ever. Like that hot 2nd cousin of yours you ran into at a BBQ once in your life. Your hug needs to be caring, supportive. If you’re American like I am, you probably have no idea what that is. Neither do I.
My guess is…if the hug is too sensual, it’s restrictive. If it’s too sexual, it’s creepy. Find a balance.
2. Perfect Feet Distance (comfort & mobility)
You can even try it just from standing still. If your feet are too close, you’ll bang knees and won’t get anywhere. If your feet are too far, you won’t be able to hug each other comfortably. Find the magic distance and always step your feet at the perfect distance so that you never strain your back/arms to embrace each other.
3. Presence During Pivots (security & mobility)
It’s easy to hug when you’re just stepping around. It’s a son of a gun when you need her to pivot. Part of the pivot requires you to connect to her core to make her turn. The other part of the pivot requires you to let her go so she can turn. How that’ll ever reconcile in my head, I’ll never know. If I had to guess…the trick lies somewhere between making her pivot with your weight change and leaving your hand softly on her back so she FEELS supported.
4. Dance with simple steps
Ever notice how some of the guys with the best embrace are the most boring dancers ever? You can be that guy if you really wanted. Seriously, stop trying so hard to DANCE to the music, and instead just WALK to the music. Walk around just as casually as you would at the grocery store. Sure, you won’t get any musicality or showoff points but it’s a good way to feel nice to her.
5. Mirror her
A lot of awareness required here. If she’s breathing hard in your ear, she probably wants you to do the same. If she’s hugging you tightly, you should do the same. If she holds your back with a stretched out hand, do the same with hers. If she clenches your hand with her right hand, do the same. Mirroring really helps when you want to give her a nice embrace.
6. Breathe
Super cheesy advice…but it works. Take a pause, breathe. How much and how long should you breathe for? Until she relaxes her back and her quads and you feel all her body weight press nicely into the ground through her feet.
7. Care about her
I’m naturally selfish by nature so I have more tips on this than anybody else that I know. Try to face her a lot instead of turning your head and chest away to do fancy moves. Pay attention to where her head, back, and feet are at all times. This will probably make it hard for you to pay attention to your own head, back, and feet….but hey, ladies first, right?